Sometimes you see something so horrific, it eats at you for several lifetimes. It changes your essence in a fundamental way. Ultimately this takes you to a higher level, where you are more compassionate, but it is still a scar on the infinite soul.
Of course, we must not hide ourselves from the truth, but it is nevertheless deeply disturbing to see, even from a distance, that humans can be so brutal. It doesn’t matter if you’re the victim, the aggressor or merely a witness. The stain is the same.
I wonder again, are these ghosts, spirits talking to me? Or are these stories just thoughts and emotions bubbling up from my own psyche? Can it be proven either way? If it could be proven that these narrators are just manifestations of my own unconscious mind, might it not also be possible that such thoughts were placed in my unconscious by energies beyond myself? Or, even more trippy, that the energy inside myself is one and the same as the energy outside myself?
I might be delusional or I might be incredibly spiritually receptive. Like Schrodinger’s cat, these possibilities exist at once.
Is there a difference, generally speaking, between a prophet and a lunatic? Perhaps there isn’t one. Or perhaps only a porous wall separates them. Or maybe the truth is in eye of the beholder.
A skeptic might hold up Jim Jones as an example of a lunatic masquerading as a prophet. A believer, on the other hand, might argue that drinking the Kool-Aid and dying en masse was the spiritual destiny of those people; that the value of the lessons they learned along that path only became apparent on the other side. In that case, Jones was, indeed, their prophet.
I don’t expect I will ever know the answers to these questions. I just find them interesting to ask.