The Case of the Missing Drishti
As my regular readers probably have noticed, I haven’t been posting any new narrators. I am really missing being able to channel. It requires at least an hour of intense focus/mind clearing which I’ve been finding extremely difficult these past 6-8 months or so, given the big move. Life is still a chaotic mess (slowly unpacking boxes as hubby finishes our built-ins. He’s doing an amazing job but it’s time-consuming. My office desk and bookcases were only finished this week. My fabulous day bed is still in pieces in the garage so I have no place to sit and chill.) And of course, one would have to be brain dead not to feel anxious and distracted by our current political situation. These days, I have the attention span of a fruit fly, my thoughts fluttering about and rarely landing on any one thing long enough to extract meaning or delve to any depth. (Except politically, where all my thoughts tend to roll, like loose marbles in a tilted box.)
This is a Catch-22 source of anxiety for me, because even when I find myself able to focus on my drishti for 30 seconds, I immediately start to worry that I’m not going to be able to hold my focus. Or I think, “Hey! Look at me! I’m focusing!” And that destroys my focus. (It’s like when you can’t sleep and you finally feel yourself drifting off and a part of your waking brain thinks, “Yay! I’m falling asleep!” and that wakes you right up again.)
But I think I have finally turned a corner. A new “friend” has come into my head to help me. I would not deny that this entity is a figment of my imagination, but as long as I can attribute certain qualities to it, it seems to be helping. The form of this entity is a general outline of a human body but within the outline, I can see beyond it into the universe. Emanating from the outline, is a sort of halo…. rather like this:
This entity has the persona of a coach. Together we do this exercise where it pushes positive white energy at me, which I inhale deeply and allow it to course through my body, and then slowly return the energy back. This mimics yogic breathing, with the long inhale, a long hold, slow exhale, long hold when empty. If I start to mentally drift away, the entity scolds me lovingly. “Hey! Focus! Look at me! Come on! Three more times! You can do this!”
I asked this entity its name and it said it didn’t have one; I could call it anything I liked. Then it said, “How about Truman, because you can look ‘tru’ me.” (It’s funny, too!) And I said, “And you also give me Truth.” So we agreed that name was as good as any other.
It’s been a couple of days and Truman’s coaching has really helped. Hopefully this will bring me back to channeling.
Again, I fully recognize this is a creation of my own imagination — I haven’t fully lost my mind… yet — but it’s helping so I’m going with it. I’ve also ratcheted back on social media. It just jacks my nervous system. Keeps me from my happy place. 🙂