first published on Jan 28, 2016
There are all kinds of men who abuse women. I recognized them everywhere, in all their forms, because I saw in them a reflection of myself. Such men need someone needier and weaker to counter their own weakness and insecurity. Such men live with the fear that their deepest secret – that they are wholly inadequate–will be revealed.
The formula is simple. First, find a woman who holds herself in even lower esteem than you hold yourself; someone consumed by doubt. The game begins with flattery and attention to make her feel special, to buoy her self-confidence. Continue this until she views you as the single source of her happiness and well-being. Once this has been accomplished, systematically separate her from her family, job, friends, until she becomes dependent on you, until she looks to you for confirmation on everything. Now, begin to undermine her confidence and her resolve until she is convinced she cannot exist without you. At this point, if you have played your hand property, no matter how badly you treat her, no matter how much you demand from her, she will feel unable to leave you.
I have seen many men whose lack of self-esteem for good reason. They have little to be confident about, save perhaps a useless skill or two. Their women are even more needy and pathetic than they are.
I despised such men. I put myself high above them.
For me, conquering such a woman neither proved nor satisfied anything.
I had unflagging conviction in my own intelligence, in my business acumen, in my power in the world. Others saw me as confident, sure of myself. But deep inside was a secret cavity gnawed hollow by the beast of self-doubt. Said beast was fed by the belief that no matter what I achieved, I would never be good enough. I will spare you the psychological gibberish about my discommending mother. Suffice it to say, a hole this size in a man such as myself can never be filled by easy conquest.
The only way to keep this monster inside of me from consuming my soul was to feed it the volition of a strong, independent woman; to press her into subservience. This took considerable charm, charisma, subtlety, patience, and a deep understanding of the female psyche. To conquer such a woman unequivocally demonstrated to the beast who was the master.
I subjugated a few such women during this lifetime. But in the end, they always managed to break free, abandoning me in ruins, leaving the monster laughing and more ravenous than before.
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